Independence Revised

So at the end of July I posted two old high school song lyrics that I was going to edit and see if I could make them something better. Well, here is my attempt at that. I think it's much better, but it might go through a bit more editing.

Independence
by: Jennifer Nelson
written: May 20, 2004
revised: September 17, 2010

I hear
in the distance
the laughing.
Even
humming.
What it wants
can't be heard
but it softly
whistles
while a life
flashes
in my mind.
Dreams come true
on this foggy
road. Inhibitions
leave
and make you whole
again. But you'll really never
know just what I am.
I see it there,
I can almost touch it.
I see it there,
so close I can feel it.
I see it there,
in front of me,
calling out for someone.
Your life is flashing
in front of you.
Your inhibitions
leave
and make you feel
again. But still
you don't have
me. I want to break
free and embrace
this life. To chase
wild stallions.
To find
what life is.
Laughing,
humming,
seeing,
freedom.
Life keeps flashing
in your face. Dreams
and inhibitions leave.
And you're so close to me!
Break out
and leave home
to find the new
world. The next phase
of life is shining
through. It's right
there. Can you see
it? Go embrace
it. Go and take
what is yours!